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I’ve done everything I can… why don’t they like me?

Sometimes there are days that test my focus, that push my limits on my personal growth, that really check me to see if I am doing my work on myself.  In being open and authentic, I admit that I have spent a lifetime worrying about whether or not I am liked.  I go above and beyond to do things for people, I offer myself up, I give my time, my money, my heart.  I do it to reward my soul, but in really coming to understand who I am, at my core, I believe I also do these things to ensure I am liked.  I think that, possibly, I am not the only one who does this.  We go above and beyond, and hope that we are appreciated, and often times we are not.  Our feelings are hurt, and then in an attempt to feel better about it, we go out and do more things for more people, often times, for the same people who we have felt unappreciated by.  There are times that we are seen in a poor light or accused of something that we didn’t do.  And, we, the servers of others, feel so hurt that someone could think so poorly of us, because we do so much to help others.  How could someone think horrible things of us?  It can be a crushing feeling.
This week my coach and mentor has helped me to realize, that all of the time I have spent worrying what others have thought, the endless time and efforts supporting others, and the feelings of being not seen, has helped me in ways that I wasn’t seeing yet.  It has helped me to become a compassionate leader.  It has helped me to become this person that always see the bright side, and gives others the benefit of the doubt.  A person who looks for solutions and cares deeply for those around her.  A teacher. A mentor. A student.              My coach asked me to make a list of all of the things I am extraordinary at.  As I made this list, I realized that all of those things that I thought made me naive and open to be hurt, those things that always made me feel like the child at the adult table, the thought in my head that I am always overlooked, all of those things were actually the fertilizer in which all of my extraordinary characteristics grew.
Connect the Dots     In my life and my work, I breathe belief into people.  I see their potential, even when they can’t see it yet.  I lift up and love, I teach and learn, I am open, I am truthful, and my purpose to make this world a better place, even if it is one person at a time is woven into my world daily.  When I was coming from the place of hurt, I believe that I was leading a wounded-driven life.  I had great purpose, but there was always hurt and struggle at the core.  In my realization this week, I see that, these struggles have perfectly prepared me to move from a wounded leader, to a purpose-driven leader.  What an eye opening experience when I connected the dots!  I have also realized, that trying to figure out what is going on inside someones head, is none of my business.  Their thoughts are their own, and I do myself such a disservice spending time in their brains, when there is so much work to be done inside of my own!
I would challenge all of you to make a list for yourself.  What you are extraordinary at?  What are those characteristics that were grown from your struggles?  Can you connect the dots?  Can we grow and cultivate this together and all become more purpose-driven?  Oh, imagine the lives that we will help to change!  Imagine the impact on world!  It actually gives me goosebumps!!  <3